Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com
For those who don’t have time to listen to this twenty minute talk (be aware she does swear a couple of times), here is a recap of the points that stood out to me:
Connections give us purpose and meaning in our lives. In order for connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be really seen – to be vulnerable.
People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. Our fear that we are not worthy is what keeps us from making connections.
People who have a strong sense of belonging have these things in common:
2. Compassion to be kind to themselves first. We can’t practice compassion for others if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.
3. They saw connection as a result of authenticity. They were able to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were.
4. They fully embraced vulnerability and believed what made them vulnerable is what made them beautiful. They believed was necessary and fundamental and had a willingness to do something even when there were no guarantees
Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.
We numb vulnerability. We don’t want to the feel the hard feelings. However, we can’t selectively numb emotions.
2. We need to think about how and why we numb.
3. One thing we try to do is to make everything uncertain, certain.
4. Blame is described as a way to discharge pain and discomfort.
5. This doesn’t work!
What does work?
2. Love with whole heart even when there are no guarantees.
3. Practice gratitude and joy even in moments of uncertainty.
4. Believe we are enough.
This post isn’t meant to be a recap of someone else’s research and thoughts, but I wanted you to know what stood out to me in hopes that you would receive your own insights about yourself and to give you the foundation for the most profound insight I found. Do know that I have abbreviated these thoughts because the full extent is far too personal to share in such an informal setting.
As I mentioned, many years ago I was given the counsel to allow myself to be vulnerable. I have reflected on that moment many times and tried to find ways to implement that in my life. It truly has been a journey of change. I know the feelings of uncertainty but have chosen to plow forward in spite of not knowing. I know the value of having pain, fear, uncertainty, etc. permeating every fiber of my soul because I learned that in feeling these hard emotions I could feel joy and happiness and love.
All of this leads me to the most powerful insight I have received about vulnerability. Brene Brown missed it. It is being vulnerable spiritually. What I mean by this is opening ourselves to the Lord. To submit to His will. To experience opposition in all things AND men are that they might have joy. To feel His forgiveness. To allow the Atonement to completely and totally envelop us. And yes I do believe this is a choice.
Think about the scriptures and the very foundation of our beliefs. Every story, even the very first in the pre-existence, centered on complete reliance in the Lord and His plan. We had no guarantees when we chose the Lord’s way. Nephi had no guarantees when he said, “I will go and do.” Joseph Smith had no guarantees when he was confined in Liberty Jail. But all believed this: We are spiritual sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father. His way was the only way. Being obedient and submitting to ALL things, even the hard emotions and difficult times, brings eternal and everlasting peace, joy, and happiness.
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