Do you remember what was happening this time last year? I do. Keenly aware. I would categorize it as one of the most difficult times of my life. To say I was vulnerable would be an understatement. Uncertain. Shattered. Petrified. Lost. Those would be more accurate descriptions. Only a few saw that side. The rest of you saw me playing a part. Strong. Hopeful. Determined. But I was a wreck. Vulnerability was out the door. I was done and had no idea how I was going to do each day.
That experience taught me about my own strength and the miraculous timing of the Lord. Recently, the Lord has shown me once again that He does hear my prayers and answers come in the most unforeseen ways. (Though I would love to provide all the details now, I'm a bit superstitious and don't want to jinx any situation or outcome so please forgive the vague explanation.)
I actually find myself in a parallel circumstance to last year. No, the world is not coming to an end. But I am faced with something that I'm cautiously optimistic about. Like the job opportunity, this situation isn't playing out in any normal or typical fashion. Good things happen, then waiting. More good things happen, and then more waiting. My expectations of what I think should happen and when things should happen have all been thrown out the window and surprisingly, I feel peace about that. And that's what scares me. I feel peace about not knowing the outcome. So bring on the vulnerability and the unknown amounts of waiting. One day it will all come together. In preparation for that, I'm suiting up like Calvin, because "something could happen today and if anything does, by golly, I'm going to be ready for it!" The Lord is in charge and somehow, in His own way and His own timing, miracles will occur.
Life is My Adventure
Showing posts with label vulnerability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vulnerability. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Thursday, November 17, 2011
I am grateful for the rewards of a hard day's work. I am grateful for the insights the Lord gives me about my life. I am grateful for the beautiful words others have given me to read. Here is a favorite passage from C.S. Lewis.
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung, and possibly be broken...Christ did not teach and suffer in order that we should become more cautious of our own happiness, even in our natural loves. If a man is not uncalculating, and in that way reckless in loving his earthly beloveds whom he has seen, how will he be in his love for God, whom he has not seen? We should draw nearer to the love of God, not by attempting to avoid the sufferings inherent in any love, but by accepting them and offering them to him, by throwing away all defensive armor, taking all risks, descending when he so wills, into all tribulations."
--CS Lewis, The Four Loves
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung, and possibly be broken...Christ did not teach and suffer in order that we should become more cautious of our own happiness, even in our natural loves. If a man is not uncalculating, and in that way reckless in loving his earthly beloveds whom he has seen, how will he be in his love for God, whom he has not seen? We should draw nearer to the love of God, not by attempting to avoid the sufferings inherent in any love, but by accepting them and offering them to him, by throwing away all defensive armor, taking all risks, descending when he so wills, into all tribulations."
--CS Lewis, The Four Loves
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Power of Vulnerability
A few weeks ago I heard a talk on TED.com about the power of vulnerability. The talk, which I have posted here, produced an interesting introspection within me. I’ve pondered and contemplated the scientific outcomes presented there and weighed those with how I have chosen to live my life and with the counsel I once received to allow myself to be vulnerable.
Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com
For those who don’t have time to listen to this twenty minute talk (be aware she does swear a couple of times), here is a recap of the points that stood out to me:
Connections give us purpose and meaning in our lives. In order for connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be really seen – to be vulnerable.
People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. Our fear that we are not worthy is what keeps us from making connections.
People who have a strong sense of belonging have these things in common:
1. Courage - Definition of Courage: Tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. These people had the courage to be imperfect.
2. Compassion to be kind to themselves first. We can’t practice compassion for others if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.
3. They saw connection as a result of authenticity. They were able to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were.
4. They fully embraced vulnerability and believed what made them vulnerable is what made them beautiful. They believed was necessary and fundamental and had a willingness to do something even when there were no guarantees
Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.
We numb vulnerability. We don’t want to the feel the hard feelings. However, we can’t selectively numb emotions.
1. When we numb the hard feelings, we numb joy, gratitude, and happiness.
2. We need to think about how and why we numb.
3. One thing we try to do is to make everything uncertain, certain.
4. Blame is described as a way to discharge pain and discomfort.
5. This doesn’t work!
What does work?
1. Let ourselves be seen. Deeply seen. Vulnerably seen.
2. Love with whole heart even when there are no guarantees.
3. Practice gratitude and joy even in moments of uncertainty.
4. Believe we are enough.
This post isn’t meant to be a recap of someone else’s research and thoughts, but I wanted you to know what stood out to me in hopes that you would receive your own insights about yourself and to give you the foundation for the most profound insight I found. Do know that I have abbreviated these thoughts because the full extent is far too personal to share in such an informal setting.
As I mentioned, many years ago I was given the counsel to allow myself to be vulnerable. I have reflected on that moment many times and tried to find ways to implement that in my life. It truly has been a journey of change. I know the feelings of uncertainty but have chosen to plow forward in spite of not knowing. I know the value of having pain, fear, uncertainty, etc. permeating every fiber of my soul because I learned that in feeling these hard emotions I could feel joy and happiness and love.
All of this leads me to the most powerful insight I have received about vulnerability. Brene Brown missed it. It is being vulnerable spiritually. What I mean by this is opening ourselves to the Lord. To submit to His will. To experience opposition in all things AND men are that they might have joy. To feel His forgiveness. To allow the Atonement to completely and totally envelop us. And yes I do believe this is a choice.
Think about the scriptures and the very foundation of our beliefs. Every story, even the very first in the pre-existence, centered on complete reliance in the Lord and His plan. We had no guarantees when we chose the Lord’s way. Nephi had no guarantees when he said, “I will go and do.” Joseph Smith had no guarantees when he was confined in Liberty Jail. But all believed this: We are spiritual sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father. His way was the only way. Being obedient and submitting to ALL things, even the hard emotions and difficult times, brings eternal and everlasting peace, joy, and happiness.
Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com
For those who don’t have time to listen to this twenty minute talk (be aware she does swear a couple of times), here is a recap of the points that stood out to me:
Connections give us purpose and meaning in our lives. In order for connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be really seen – to be vulnerable.
People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. Our fear that we are not worthy is what keeps us from making connections.
People who have a strong sense of belonging have these things in common:
2. Compassion to be kind to themselves first. We can’t practice compassion for others if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.
3. They saw connection as a result of authenticity. They were able to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were.
4. They fully embraced vulnerability and believed what made them vulnerable is what made them beautiful. They believed was necessary and fundamental and had a willingness to do something even when there were no guarantees
Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.
We numb vulnerability. We don’t want to the feel the hard feelings. However, we can’t selectively numb emotions.
2. We need to think about how and why we numb.
3. One thing we try to do is to make everything uncertain, certain.
4. Blame is described as a way to discharge pain and discomfort.
5. This doesn’t work!
What does work?
2. Love with whole heart even when there are no guarantees.
3. Practice gratitude and joy even in moments of uncertainty.
4. Believe we are enough.
This post isn’t meant to be a recap of someone else’s research and thoughts, but I wanted you to know what stood out to me in hopes that you would receive your own insights about yourself and to give you the foundation for the most profound insight I found. Do know that I have abbreviated these thoughts because the full extent is far too personal to share in such an informal setting.
As I mentioned, many years ago I was given the counsel to allow myself to be vulnerable. I have reflected on that moment many times and tried to find ways to implement that in my life. It truly has been a journey of change. I know the feelings of uncertainty but have chosen to plow forward in spite of not knowing. I know the value of having pain, fear, uncertainty, etc. permeating every fiber of my soul because I learned that in feeling these hard emotions I could feel joy and happiness and love.
All of this leads me to the most powerful insight I have received about vulnerability. Brene Brown missed it. It is being vulnerable spiritually. What I mean by this is opening ourselves to the Lord. To submit to His will. To experience opposition in all things AND men are that they might have joy. To feel His forgiveness. To allow the Atonement to completely and totally envelop us. And yes I do believe this is a choice.
Think about the scriptures and the very foundation of our beliefs. Every story, even the very first in the pre-existence, centered on complete reliance in the Lord and His plan. We had no guarantees when we chose the Lord’s way. Nephi had no guarantees when he said, “I will go and do.” Joseph Smith had no guarantees when he was confined in Liberty Jail. But all believed this: We are spiritual sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father. His way was the only way. Being obedient and submitting to ALL things, even the hard emotions and difficult times, brings eternal and everlasting peace, joy, and happiness.
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