What's New with You?

I've been in a rut lately. Not the "woe is me and isn't my life miserable" kind of place. More of the "life is good and I'm happy but I feel like I'm missing something" type.

Last July, I started looking for a new job. In September I had a job interview in the Bay Area and decided the job wasn't for me, but kept praying for some type of direction of the "what next" in my life. I had the impression to start traveling to the Bay Area for a social life. I had met some great people that let me stay with them and was able to go out once in October and twice in November. I loved it! I was making some great friends and starting to fill that void in my life. Plus I was able to be the answer to others' prayers.

Then another job opportunity popped up in December. The company was a startup in the Bay Area and seemed like a great option. I flew out for an interview and spent the weekend playing with friends. But I realized quickly this job wasn't for me. It started out being just social media, then marketing automation was added, and after the interview, my potential boss included managing and producing all their webinars. I felt like I was taking a step back to last summer when worked consumed every aspect of my life. So after long thought and fasting and prayer, I turned down the job.

In the midst of all of this, I've also been dating. Not the "dating" that my sisters and cousins joke about, but more like the "I'm dating and it comes with snacks" (Grey's Anatomy quote). I've had more dates traveling to California the past few months than I had here in Utah the past year. Life really has been good and I've grown a lot the past few months. But once again, a few kinks developed.

I realized traveling to the Bay Area was fun but not a lasting plan. Something had to change. I either needed to move there or come up with a more permanent solution. All of this happened at the same time I felt turning down the job was the better plan for me. I've been pondering on my life and seeking answers to my questions to figure out what that should be. In November, I fasted for direction and the response that came was I didn't need to know yet. Just keep taking one step at a time. Recently, I received a similar response: multiple answers will be needed along the way and each detail will come as needed.

Today I decided that I've been too narrow in my scope and too timid in my ambitions. My friends are willing to move permanently to Japan, take a job in remote area in Georgia, and buy a place in Boston without any idea of their futures. I'm still living timidly. To do and be more, I need to be willing to take a leap of faith. So, my job search has expanded drastically to cities across the country. I have no idea what's in store on the dating front because I feel like I'm at a dead end, but I know I have to trust the Lord in this.

As I said in the beginning, I'm not miserable. I'm very happy and blessed in my life. I'm just feeling that something more needs to happen and I'm trying to figure out what that "more" is for me. I'm planning on keeping you who read this updated because I have a feeling, it's going to be an incredible journey with lots of bumps, bruises, and excitement along the way. And with all that emotion, I need to know my family and friends are there with me.