Grandma Great

Today is Grams' 91st birthday and I wanted to dedicate a few thoughts to her. Whenever we came to visit her, we usually rolled in late at night, but she always had food prepared and was ready to feed us. Visiting always entailed walking to get ice cream, feeding the ducks, splashing in the pool, playing endless rook tournaments, strolling along the golf course, and snuggling every morning. Because of difficult circumstances, Grams moved to Utah a few years ago and built a house next to my parents. Since then, she and I have spent many hours talking about our fears, our hopes, our discouragements, and our joys. We have both carried the burdens of the other and strengthened one another. I feel blessed having her in my life. Love you tons Grams!

Simple Surprises

One of my mom's goals in life is to surprise me but unfortunately has failed in most of her attempts. She tried to surprise me with getting contacts early (my eye doctor wanted me to wait until I was 16), replacing the carpet in the basement, visiting me for my birthday while I was living in Phoenix, and so forth. Each of these were thwarted. Because of unique circumstances, I knew about the contacts before we drove up to the eye doctor so my reaction was not what she had hoped for. I happened to see the new carpet scheduled on her calendar and then proceeded to show Annette. Once again, not the reaction she wanted. The birthday visit actually would have happened if she hadn't broken her hip. We were both disappointed. My mom was able to pull off one surprise, though I almost ruined this one too. I was flying home from Austin, and my sister Suzy and her family, who were living in California at the time, greeted me off the airplane (that was the day you could go beyond security). Having Spencer run up and hug me as I came off the plane was priceless. It isn't that I don't like surprises. I just don't like the limelight associated with them. Many people thrive on the big elaborate productions that come with surprises, but for me I am overwhelmed with the attention and actually become a bit self-conscious. However, I love the simple surprises. Quiet unassuming actions mean more to me than any grand elaborate event. Simple, sweet, and sincere. Thanks for making my day.

Tender Mercy

As I travel back and forth between my house and the Tanner Building on BYU campus, I listen to general conference talks. The last time I burned a general conference MP3, I felt I should put on two additional talks both given during BYU devotionals from Elder Hales and Elder Holland. I remember exactly where I was sitting and how I felt when I first heard Elder Holland's talk. It was the day after Valentine's Day and I had some tough questions on my mind. The talk seemed to be directed towards me. Questions were answered, hope was given, and faith renewed. Tonight Elder Holland's talk played as I was driving. I heard the very words that I needed to hear. My heart softened and fears departed. So, my post is dedicated to a talk that once again has given me hope. Though the talk relates to marriage, my focus is on the principles of faith.

To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship. It is a real act of faith--faith all of us must be willing to exercise. If we do it right, we end up sharing everything--all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys--with another person.

2 for 1

I have waited to post this new information because I wanted Lucille to post on her blog first. Last Tuesday, my sister Lucille went into labor. The ultrasound months previous did not give any clear indication whether she was having a boy or a girl. So, she and her husband picked out a boy and a girl name and brought a boy and a girl outfit to the hospital. Well, little did any of us realize (including the doctor) that all this was an omen of things to come. Three hours after her water broke, her little girl Marie Margaret was born. Ten minutes later followed her little boy Peter Hardy. Twins! Lucy and her story have now become the topic of conversation in the maternity ward, mother-baby ward, her work floor in the ICU, her husband's work, their ward, her in-law's ward, my hometown, my sister Kathrine's work, and so many other places. She has gotten responses on her blog from people she has never even met! The miracle in all of this is both babies are healthy and strong. Her ward has rallied behind her in ways no one could have imagined. It was Bishop Edgley who spoke about enduring together as ward members in general conference and I am so grateful for all the help and support Lucy and Scott have received from their ward. The babies are adorable and I am excited to be their aunt! So much fun to be had.

Fall Colors

I went hiking last Friday with friends from MBA school. The mountains were covered in colors. I loved being outdoors and not stuck inside my four walled classroom. Isn't Utah beautiful?

Becoming New

This weekend I have reflected on the changes that have taken place in me since starting MBA school. New friendships and new challenges have stretched me in ways I never would have imagined, and I have enjoyed the transformation. Since I don't have the words to really describe the details, I thought I would post a poem I wrote many years ago. It somewhat captures the essence of this past month.

Shoes

The shoes don't fit.
They were bought for me without my knowing.
They are cumbersome, overbearing, and weighty.
I trip constantly.
I fall on my face.
Why then were they bought?
So one day my feet would be stronger,
stretching myself would be easier,
and growing would not hurt so much.
These shoes, these expectations,
may not have been my choice;
but they are who I have become.
The shoes now fit.

Making memories

My idea of scrapbooking is writing names and dates on the back of pictures and sticking them into a photo album. Since 2006 was the year I broke my hand, I never printed off any pictures because I couldn't write on them. Well since I hadn't done 2006, I wasn't about to start 2007. You can see the vicious cycle. Yesterday I sat done and organized my 550+ favorite pictures from 2006. It was fun to see all the fun pictures and relive all the memories. That year my whole family went to Disneyland for three days and the beach for four days. We had an amazing time! So in memory of 2006, I thought I would post some highlights from that year.

Love 24!

Never have I been more excited for 24 to start.

Being the Driver

When I first started MBA school I declared myself as an organizational behavior/human resources major. My background in teaching had given me the skills to excel in this field. Plus, I liked the idea of training development. Overall I thought I was a good fit. But then school started. I went on the marketing trip to Moab and liked what the recruiters were saying about marketing. My marketing class is one of my favorites: integrating theory with practical application. Most of HR is integrating theory with more theory. We have professional seminars and information sessions where recruiters come in and talk with us about their company and usually a BYU grad/former intern explains what they do/did in their job. My honest opinion is most of their jobs sound boring. I couldn't grasp the idea of waking up and going to that job everyday. VP and senior mangers' jobs sound great but I decided I did not want to be stuck in a job I didn't like until the day I could have their job. And lets face it, I'm still hoping for the whole mom thing. So what to do...? I am in contact with someone at Apple and he described the differences between marketing and HR: What I do think marketing provides is a chance to drive the boat. HR hires the captain and makes sure he has good Medical and a Personal Development Plan, etc, but HR doesn't get to drive. Both roles are important...it just depends on whether or not you like driving! My career assessment I took for the career center also said, "You also have a high interest in Creative Production, one of the core activities in business work. You enjoy bringing something entirely original into existence -- whether it's a product, marketing plan, way of delivering a service, or entrepreneurial venture. Whether you work as a manager, executive, or individual contributor, acting creatively is an important part of your work satisfaction. You find the initial, creative stages of projects much more stimulating than later "maintenance" phase, so a job that may have been a good match at first may feel less and less satisfying over time. In fact, many people with a strong interest in Creative Production change jobs more frequently than other people for this very reason -- not because of an inability to persevere or make a commitment." What does all this mean? I want to drive the boat! So now I am actively pursuing a marketing career, something I never planned on doing, never even considered, but am completely excited about.

M...B...A... Here We Go!

Here are my thoughts about the first week of MBA school:
1. I love being a student!
2. I have too much homework. I did more homework my first week then a whole month as an undergraduate. ASU was a bit less demanding but I only had classes once a week so it was easier to postpone doing the homework.
3. If you want new friends, go to graduate school. I have met over 100 new people and remember the names of most of them.
4. Annette is amazing! She helps me with my homework even though she is in California.
5. My group works well together and I enjoy learning from them.
6. At times I am so involved with school I forget to eat. At other times I am famished!
7. I sacrifice Friday nights doing homework so I can play all day Saturday.
8. Still did homework Saturday but at least it was with non-MBA friends.
9. I hate that I have to schedule family time.
10. BYU football is much better than when I was an undergrad.

After the Story

I have gotten many responses from my family about the below story that have caused me to rethink the events of Saturday. My intent was to tell the story with as much detail as possible because most people like the "girl version" of stories. Apparently this was not the time to start. I was in a precarious situation but one that I felt confident would end well. Never once did I doubt the ending of the story. I felt impressions and immediately followed them. Someone was looking out for me that day and I am grateful for the prayers of a righteous mother and that I took the time to read my scriptures that morning. After I made it to shore, I got back in the kayak with a guy who was very familiar with rivers. We kayaked up into a smaller "hole" and he showed me how they worked. He let me talk everything through that happened and he taught me a lot about the river. That more than anything calmed my nerves. Here is what I learned, my metaphor from the story: I have way too much to live for to give up or to let go of the raft. I will hold on and fight the storm against me. I honestly believe we have trials that test our strength and determination, but in the end we will be delivered if we stay true to the principles of the gospel. Now I may get a grown from the crowd but this is really is a great parable for withstanding the trials of life. We get tossed and thrown in the waters of life. But the atonement and Gospel of Jesus Christ will lead us safely home. And that is all that matters.

Spinning Out of Control

This weekend I went to Moab with BYU's MBA Marketing crowd. This was my first Moab trip and though I wanted to stay home and sleep, I was excited to go on a Hummer ride and a rafting trip. The Hummer ride was amazing! However, that was not the most exciting part of the adventure. Our rafting trip provided the highlight and the setting for the story. The group split between ten two-people kayaks and three rafts. I spent the first part in the raft having a good time through simple rapids and water fights. The group pulled off for lunch and some time out of the sun. After lunch, my friend Chloe and I took over a kayak. We just got started when we hit some of the roughest rapids of the trip. We took the first set with no problem, and me being over confident pointed out another set that would be amazing to hit. However, this set was a class above what we were doing. We hit the rapid, went over a drop, and immediately crashed. I was sucked under the water without a clue where I was going or how long I would be under the water. I never thought I was going to die, but started panicking for air. I finally came up but got quickly pulled under again, continuing the cycle. When I got pulled under again, I knew I was in trouble. I came up a third time and saw the kayak. The kayak and I were caught in a hole (where the river flows back on itself--perhaps back under the drop--often with fearful results for those caught in its grasp--wikipedia's explanation). I had the distinct impression that if I held onto the kayak not only could I breathe but eventually someone would help me. Many of our group were behind us so I thought a river guide would see me. I was also very concerned for Chloe. I hadn't seen her and was afraid she was caught underneath the kayak. It felt like forever as I was churned in the waters, and people kept going by without stopping because the waters were so swift. I about gave up but funny enough the water started pulling at my board shorts. I was not going to lose those! I had already lost my sunglasses. I shifted my weight to try and protect my shorts, and that affected the way the current was hitting me and the kayak. We came out of the hole and sped down the other currents. I river guide threw me a rope and pulled me into shore to let me rest. Some guys were watching and were stunned at the situation. Chloe had popped out immediately and they kept waiting for me. I never came and when they finally saw me stuck in the hole holding onto the kayak, they began paddling to shore getting ready to run and help me. Interestingly enough, I never felt like I was going to die but was completely scared and panicked. I did get back in the kayak after that adventure but had one of the guys trying to help me get in with me and the other with Chloe. I finished the river and had a great time! My muscles are quite sore now and I have a few bruises on my arms, hip, and back. But I am alive and would still do it again. After the experience the guy in my kayak taught me how to get out of a hole and even showed me some tips to kayaking through them. I definitely will go again, just grateful for divine help.

Hopeful Romantic

A friend of mine once commented that I was the most hopeful romantic she had ever met. Today I was playing on youtube and decided I completely agree with my friend. Here is my newest find:

Scarlet Pimpernel: When I Look at You

More Movies

They are making a movie of the only book where I skipped to the end to find out what happened. It is a young adult book called The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas. From the trailer it looks like they are keeping very true to the story.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/miramax/theboyinthestripedpajamas/

This movies looks cute and was referenced in You've Got Mail. So of course I have to see it. Noel Streatfeild's Ballet Shoes.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/balletshoes/

Because its James Bond:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/quantumofsolace/

Miracle at St. Anna looks amazing. However, Spike Lee directed it so it will probably be rated R. Too bad.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/touchstone/miracleatstanna/

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Once I got the hang of the single mom thing I stopped writing about it. Actually I got so busy and was so worn out I decided I would rather play computer games and watch the Olympics than write. Here are my final thoughts on the whole single mom for two weeks adventure:

*Brought all five kids with me to Costco and we made it out without a scratch on any kid. Of course it helped that sample time was over. :)

*Took a walk on a bike path and the kids enjoyed being outside.

*Went to first day of school with no obvious mishaps. Did I mention it was the first day of school? I only had two kids for four hours and as soon as the kindergartner got home I put baby down for a nap. Loved it!

*Baby took a bottle and went to sleep without too much fuss. No problems after the first few days.

*I was finally able to work out after I dropped three kids off to school. Everyone should have a jogging stroller.

*My computer came in the mail! Granted it was shipped to Utah but came nonetheless.
*The last week there, the high temperature was above 100 degrees. It finally cooled down the day I picked up my parents and brother and wife at the airport. I abhor the heat! At least the kids were able to play on the slip-n-slide to cool down after school.
*In attempts at drying out the back lawn to mow it, I killed some grass in the front lawn. Who has two sprinkling controllers?! Got most of the lawn revived before leaving but never did mow the back lawn.
*I really don't like whining. It bothered me as a teacher and bothered me more as a "parent."
*I have a lot of patience at times and very little at others. See previous line. :)
*Teething babies can be difficult. Gratefully Infant Tylenol did wonders for baby!
*My sister Suzy saved me at times. I saw her everyday and loved talking with her. We talked about the kids, school, our own personal frustrations, and most importantly, the Olympics. It was fun to share my life with her for two weeks.
*Most importantly I came away understanding what kind of mom I want to be and maybe how to be that. The key to that is having a good husband to help. Being a single mom is tough. Every child needs two parents and every parent needs a good spouse to help support him or her. Dads balance out moms and moms balance out dads. I'm sure all you married people understand what I am trying to say. I believe a child needs a mom and a dad. As for those who thought being a single mom of five for two weeks would squash any desire for my own family, they were completely wrong. If anything it fueled the fire.

Things of Note

*Baby likes new schedule so much more. He even refused to let his sister help him eat. He wants me now.
*Five-year old comments maybe innocent but can still be hurtful.
*Being a single mom can be lonely. Good thing I have older sister here to visit with often.
*Two parents are so much better than one.
*Kids need lots of love and affection and attention in life.
*Kids like knowing how to do things themselves. Better to teach them than to say no all of the time.
*This experience has not sqaushed my desire to have my own family.

Moving Right Along

Yesterday, I tried doing one long nap with Eric since the two small naps the past two days wasn't working. Baby slept 3 1/2 hours! He went to bed early too and as a report from this morning slept in until 7:00. My sister Suzy suggested I put a bottle of water in his bed and a book. I heard him "talk" this morning and went to get him out of bed. Low and behold, he had the bottle in one hand and the book in the other. It was nice because he wasn't crying which usually wakes everyone else up too. I want to try this schedule again today. Oh! He also drank 4 oz before going to sleep last night so I am making progress. All the other kids are doing well. They try to convince me that they can stay up later, not clean up their messes, etc. Unfortunately for them, I was a school teacher. Their excuses and pleas don't work.

ABCDEFG...

Yesterday morning, Eric (the 11 month old) barely ate any breakfast. The kid had to be starving! I had a brilliant idea. I had Tiana (8) feed him. Little one ate the whole bowl of rice cereal. Eventually, he will get used to me. That morning we went to the park with my sister Suzy and her kids. It was nice for the kids to run around with friends and get energy out and it was nice for me to talk with Suzy. We always have fun conversations. Lunch was great. Now for naptime. Believe it or not, Eric fell asleep to me singing the ABC song. I sang it over and over again and kept singing it as I put him in the crib. Still sang it and rubbed his back as he settled in the crib. I think I found a winner! I know that parents get a routine down that kids are familiar with and maybe this is my routine with Eric. Suzy also gave me a suggestion to help Eric take a bottle from me. He didn't drink his usual 6 oz. but he drank something. I'm going to keep working on this one. The kid has got to be thirsty. I also used the ABC song again for nighttime and it worked! So Eric slept the whole night long. I also figured out that it was better to put Josh (3) and Andrew (5) down before the older two. I'm getting the hang of this mom thing. I swear it is easier when you add them one at a time instead of five at once!

Being a Mom Day 1

My brother, his wife, and my parents left for Denmark yesterday. Crazy fool that I was, I offered to help babysit his kids while they were gone. In my defense, I offered when they only had four kids. :) Yes, you read that right. I am now a single mom of five kids ages 9 1/2, 8, 5, 3, and 11 months. The kids are getting used to me and my tolerance level, and I am learning what they need. The five-year-old and I are working on helping him use a "house" voice. He loves to yell and scream everything. The older two are just great helpers. The three-year-old is actually doing really well with me and loves to help. That leaves the youngest. Naptime was okay. I finally had to let him cry himself to sleep which he did within five minutes. Bedtime however was almost a nightmare. He was so mad his mom wasn't there. He only drank 1 oz. and refused to calm down. He even started crawling around, crying the whole time, looking for his mom. My favorite is when he put his head on the floor, falling asleep for just a second and then kept searching and crying. Eventually, my niece held him until he was drifting asleep and then I took him. After I put him in his bed, the three-year-old sang to him. Gratefully he slept all night. This morning when I got him out of bed he looked so disappointed to see me instead of his mom. Hopefully he gets used to the fact that I am here.

My Second Home

Growing up my dad and I would sing songs around the piano. One of my favorites was this old school song titled California. (One of my new favorites is also titled California.) I love California! My grandparents lived there and I have such great memories of watching the golfers from Grams and Gramps' balcony, swimming in the pool, walking along the golf course at night, and playing at the beach. Right now I am sitting in my sisters bed enjoying the sounds and smells that are truly Californian and remembering all the fun times we had as kids. I have very distinct memories of this one type of bird. I have no idea what bird it is but its call always reminds me of California. It has been yakking away for over an hour this morning but I love it. The smell is a mixture of humidity, a bit of smog, and fragrant flowers (right now it is the magnolias). Every once in a while you get that smell in Utah, but not often. I am amazed how I always feel at home here in California.