Bad Habits

I've formed a very bad habit this past month. I fall asleep on the couch, wake up around 2am, then climb into my own bed. This has caused a crazy sleep schedule and me feeling exhausted. I know why this habit started but am not sure how to fix the cause; however, I am working on breaking the habit. For the past three nights I actually fell asleep in my own bed! Two of the three nights I slept well. Of course I went to bed after 1am both nights so that may have some explanation. My goal for this week is to go to bed in my own bed before midnight. No more falling asleep on the couch.

One of Those Days

Today I was not my best self. It came from a combination of factors including final exams, stress, exhaustion, and hormones. When I have days like this, I say to myself, "You're better than this. Why did you react that way? Why did you say that?" For some reason no matter how hard I try, the nasty side of me comes out. Unfortunately for one of the undergrads I TA, he found me right at the peak of my irrationality. I've already sent an apology.

Today I needed a timeout. A timeout from studying. A timeout from being single. A timeout from making decisions that I don't have answers to or direction for yet. A timeout from being me. Gratefully my sister and her husband let me use their place as a timeout. I was able to get one of my final two papers completed. My nephew saw I was upset and made me a Christmas card. When I came home, my fabulous visiting teacher stopped to see me.

Today I learned that even though I make mistakes and feel that others make mistakes towards me, life isn't over. Hope keeps us moving. Hope that when we wake up in the morning, the craziness we feel will have dissipated. Hope that others will forgive us for becoming defensive and reacting instead of stopping to think through the situation. Hope that the atonement of Christ really does help us overcome being human.

Today I was not my best self. I hope to be better tomorrow.

Mom! It's a box!

Today I came home from school to find a box. Not just any box. A Banana Republic box. Even better, I liked everything in it! Miracles do happen!

AOG - Day 30

1- I am grateful for my dad. Today is his birthday and I wanted to how I feel about him. He is kind, loving, fun, witty, spiritual strong, an amazing example, smart, and charitable. I think my dad is amazing!

2- I am grateful for hard working teams. I get frustrated working with different people and different groups for each class but when it comes to crunch time, they pull through and get things done. Having a good team makes school so much easier.

3- I am grateful I made it through November. It has been a crazy, busy month!

AOG - Day 29

1- I am grateful for hot tubs. I love sitting and relaxing in hot tubs. This weekend I was at the Waldorf-Astoria resort at The Canyons. Being in a ritzy hotel, in the mountains, with a hot tub? Priceless.

2- I am grateful for peanut butter cookies. I got the recipe from a girl who collected different PB cookie recipes and she gave me her favorite.

3- I am grateful that the semester ends in 2 1/2 weeks. It is going to be a crazy busy time but I am excited for the Christmas break.

AOG - Day 28

1- I am grateful for BYU's win over Utah tonight! Though I was freezing cold by the end of the game, I couldn't help rushing towards the field after that amazing overtime win!

2- I am grateful I know the backroads of Provo so I could avoid most of the traffic to the freeway. I made it to Salt Lake with plenty of time to spare.

3- I am grateful for internet shopping. One of my favorite stores is only in Salt Lake. When I lived in Arizona, I would stop at Ann Taylor Loft at least every other week; now I visit online to watch for sales and such. I love that I can buy clothes online and then return them at my convenience.

AOG - Day 27

1- I am grateful for good parents. It has been nice spending the past few days with them. Though I've spent a good chunk of it catching up on sleep, it has been fun watching The Muppet Christmas Carol with my mom, playing Five Crown with my parents and Grams (even though she destroyed me), having my dad help me put up Christmas lights, and relaxing in the kitchen while my mom and dad continued with the daily grind of life.

2- I am grateful for the lessons we have learned in the past even though they may have been difficult and pain-filled. These lessons prepare us for the future and help us move forward with faith.

3- I am grateful for the Book of Mormon. My bishop challenged each of us in the ward to read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover beginning November 1st and finishing Christmas Eve. I enjoy my daily interactions with these scriptures and the insights I receive.

AOG - Day 26

1- I am grateful for Thanksgiving Day and the opportunity we have to eat amazing food and to enjoy the time with family.

2- I am grateful that my mom feels safer when I drive then when my dad drives. He isn't a bad driver, but his cautious driving doesn't always make the rest of us in the car feel safe. I'm glad my mom lets me drive.

3- I am grateful for chocolate ice box cake. It is a divine dessert my mom makes every Thanksgiving and Christmas. I look forward to it every year!

AOG - Day 25

1- I am grateful I was able to spend some time with my sister today. We rarely get to have one-on-one time. It was fun to catch up on life.

2- I am grateful to be at home for a few days. It's nice to escape from school every once in a while.

3- I am grateful to have a nice warm bed to sleep in when I visit my parents. Long story on that one but I'll just say the couch used to be my bed. Not any more! :)

AOG - Day 24

1- I am grateful that my classes were cut short today!

2- I am grateful that between classes I was able to hang out with a good friend of mine.

3- I am grateful for the Thanksgiving dinner that I was invited to tonight. Yummy!

AOG - Day 23

1- I am grateful when a class is canceled that I didn't want to go to that day. Makes for a happy day when I am experiencing burnout.

2- I am grateful for people who make me laugh! The world is more fun when we make others laugh.

3- I am grateful for the ability to learn, grow, and change. The eternal mercy and grace that comes from the atonement humbles me and teaches me how to be a better person. It also teaches me the power of forgiveness...forgiving myself and forgiving others. What a powerful gift in my life!

AOG - Day 22

1- I am grateful for nine hours of sleep! Can you tell school has taken a toll on me? Getting sleep this weekend has helped me actually considering going to class this week.

2- I am grateful for good friends who talk with me through ideas and situations. Being in the RS Presidency has helped me more aware of the sisters in the ward; however those sisters seem to serve me more than I am able to serve them.

3- I am grateful for relaxing on the couch, listening to Christmas music, but really do nothing.

AOG - Day 21

1- I am grateful for ten hours of sleep! Blessed, blessed day!

2- I am grateful for fun times at the BYU football game but even more grateful for the warmth of my apartment after the game.

3- I am grateful for the beautiful music. I love the symphony and had the chance to hear Mahler's 2nd Symphony in the Tabernacle on Temple Square. Amazing!

AOG - Day 20

1- I am grateful for the service of others. One of my MBA friends sat and talked with me when I needed insights and perspective. This person was not someone I would have thought to seek advice from but he was just what I needed.

2- I am grateful my former students won their state champion football game! I am even more grateful that it was broadcast on TV so I could watch it. I still miss the interactions I have with my students.

3- I am grateful for relaxing nights after very long weeks. I was able to talk with my sister on the phone, watch my brother play football, talk briefly with my parents, then watch a couple of movies. It was so nice to just relax.

AOG - Day 19

1- I am grateful for random lunch breaks where I can catch up with friends not in the MBA program.

2- I am grateful for the few hours I had today to do laundry. Now I just need to find time to fold it.

3- I am grateful for compliments. It is always nice to know someone noticed the effort you took to look good for the evening.

AOG - Day 18

1- I am grateful my presentation went well.

2- I am grateful for my sisters who help me out in life. The listen to me, invite me on vacation with them, and one let me borrow all her kids pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals to help me with my presentation.

3- I am grateful for moments when I can forget about school and just relax.

AOG - Day 17

1- I am grateful for agency. Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself (2 Nephi 2:16).

2- I am grateful for be willing to take risks in life. I don't risk my health or my safety. But I take a chance on people, on opportunities, on new ideas.

3- I am grateful for Jane Austen. As my sister's roommate once said, "Where's my Mr. Knightly?"

AOG - Day 16

1- I am grateful for the successful installation of Windows 7 and my friend who spent time on the phone helping me.

2- I am grateful for the Book of Mormon challenge our bishop gave us. As a ward we started our reading on November 1st and should finish by December 24th.

3- I am grateful for my bull-headed, risk taking, no regrets personality. I believe I have lived a better life because of it.

AOG -Day 15

1- I am grateful for ten hours of sleep! Apparently I was really tired.

2- I am grateful for the power of pondering. When I don't have answers to questions it helps to sit and write my thoughts down on paper. As I work through these, I come up with answers. Most of the time, I discover things I didn't realize.

3- I am grateful for needing help. Often I am too independent and try to do things on my own. It is good for me to rely on others for help.

AOG - Day 14

1- I am grateful for the beauty snow creates. Just add Christmas lights and its a bit of heaven on earth.

2- I am grateful for lazy days. It is nice to just have a day to relax and read a book.

3- I am grateful for pedicures and how nice and relaxing it makes me. Plus my feet look pretty now.