Called to Serve

My parents have been called to serve in the Mexico Area Office as the area medical advisor (dad) and assistant to the area medical advisor (mom). They are specifically assigned to the Mexico City East Mission but will serve multiple missions in the area. Thanks to technology all of the family was able to watch or listen to them open the call via Google+ Hangout. I was able to capture my parents' expressions when the call was read. I love my mom's face on the second photo. Mexico was definitely not on the list of expected places. Since my dad is fluent in German we all thought maybe somewhere in Europe but the Lord had other plans. The family is thrilled for my parents!! Fun, exciting times ahead!

I am grateful for the rewards of a hard day's work. I am grateful for the insights the Lord gives me about my life. I am grateful for the beautiful words others have given me to read. Here is a favorite passage from C.S. Lewis.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung, and possibly be broken...Christ did not teach and suffer in order that we should become more cautious of our own happiness, even in our natural loves. If a man is not uncalculating, and in that way reckless in loving his earthly beloveds whom he has seen, how will he be in his love for God, whom he has not seen? We should draw nearer to the love of God, not by attempting to avoid the sufferings inherent in any love, but by accepting them and offering them to him, by throwing away all defensive armor, taking all risks, descending when he so wills, into all tribulations."
--CS Lewis, The Four Loves

Tonight I had a very uplifting talk with a female student I mentor. She has many concerns that center around finding a full-time job in the same place her husband is accepted for medical school. Her fears come from not following the same path as those around her, not doing all she can now to find a job, and not knowing for sure what the future holds for her. We were able to talk about the will of the Lord and pressing forward in spite of not having a clear understanding of the future. It made me feel good to have her say she needed her monthly "Thamina check" to help her feel confident and hopeful in the decisions she is making. This is one reason I still continue to mentor students. I feel like I am able to make a difference in someone's life.

Our conversation then turned to one of greater gospel significance. We began talking about agency and the trials of Abraham. While talking, I had an insight that brought a whole new understanding to the events of Abraham and Isaac and completely placing our will on the alter of the Lord. I had never pieced this together before, and I'm not going to go into detail here, but I realized that it wasn't just Abraham's test. It was also Isaac's. Isaac has now become a symbol for me of completely submitting to the will of his father. Complete trust. Complete faith. For some reason this small insight completely changed my perspective about the trials I am facing. How grateful I am for personal revelation and continued understanding of the Gospel.

I'm also extremely grateful for another realization I had tonight. I believe in happy endings. Not the "Once upon a time...and everyone lived happily ever after" kind. But the "And God remembered Rachel" kind. The Lord "hath heard the prayers of His people" kind. The "all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good" kind. I believe in my happily ever after.

I am grateful for the Relief Society lesson we had in church. The sister who taught it was asked to teach yesterday after the regular teacher became sick. The lesson and examples given were exactly what I needed to hear. Now the challenge. Taking the leap of faith and trusting the Lord completely. I'm beginning to understand a bit what Nephi felt. He was told to get the Brass Plates. He had tried everything he could think of and was even beaten for his persistence. Now he is standing at the gates of Jerusalem saying, "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do. Nevertheless, I went forth." I've been told multiple times "Don't worry. Everything will work out." Earthly perspective tells me I'm a fool. But I know. I know what the Spirit has whispered and confirmed to me. So following the example of Nephi, I'm going forth. Taking that leap of faith. Trusting the Lord that all He has revealed to me will come even though I see no possible way for it to happen. He does. And that's what matters to me. That I am being guided by a loving Heavenly Father who sees and knows all things. As long as I am obedient and faithful, I will not be led astray. How truly glorious is our Father and Savior Jesus Christ.

I am grateful for a day of rest and to be spiritual nourished by prophets of God. I love that these messages are easily accessible and I can listen to them on my computer, in the car, and on my phone. They bring me peace in times of uncertainty.

I am grateful for Christmas music. Today I have been working on importing all my classical cds and Christmas music on my Mac. My niece and I listened to the "Radio Christmas" on Saturday while driving. I was so disappointed in the selection. Now that I have my favorites on my phone, I can enjoy the best out there.

Today I was able to go shopping with my 14-year-old niece. It was so much fun to go shopping with her and we had a great time. I am grateful for the extra football ticket my brother-in-law gave me. It had been a while since I had actually been to the game and I had a great time. I am grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves me.

Have you seen this? Watching this tonight reminded me of how grateful I am for living apostles and prophets. The spiritual insights that came to my mind during general conference were reinforced with this short recap. Oh how merciful the Lord is to us in continually guiding and directing our lives. He doesn't leave us alone. He is always there.



Tonight President Packer spoke at the CES Fireside. What a moving message about the power of the atonement to satisfy the laws and demands of justice. I have felt the merciful hand of the Lord in my life. I am grateful for the laws of justice. It keeps life "fair". But how I treasure the mercy of the atonement that satisfy this law and allows me to be forgiven and sanctified. I testify as President Packer did that we can all return to the Lord's path. We can all repent. We can all partake of the gift of the atonement. It is never too late.

I am grateful for the gifts of the Spirit. I've come to realize that one of mine is an insatiable hope. Hope in today. Hope in the future. Hope in the Gospel. I've been ridiculed for this hope at times and questioned whether it really was a gift. Now I know full well that the Lord has blessed me with hope. I have been able to be a help to others and it has sustained me in times of darkness. Hope is something I greatly treasure. It is a sacred gift to me.

Month of Gratitude

It's that time of year again and it is perfect timing. November is my month of gratitude. No whining. No complaining. Just focusing on all that I have been blessed with.

I am grateful I made it through October. This month has challenged me in ways I never could have imagined. Just when I thought I had been pushed to my limit, another unexpected surprise came around the corner. The Lord strengthened me and helped me through each day, and at times, He gave me angels that carried me.

I am grateful I made it through the past year. Never did I expect the challenges that hit me. I've had struggles that helped me recognize how much I value my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. This morning I was reading in Hebrews 10 which sparked a reflection on the past year and this deepening affection. "But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions...Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward. For ye have need of patience that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise." I have felt that "great fight of affliction" but also understand why Paul said we "glory in tribulation." I have felt "opposition in all things" and have a better understanding that "men are that they might have joy." It is called the Plan of Happiness for a reason. I know the Lord is guiding my life, and though I have no idea what path we are traveling down, I know I'm not alone. For that I am eternally grateful.

I am grateful that tonight my colleague, who is not a member of the LDS church, and I were able to share our beliefs about the creation of life and the sacredness of little children. How grateful I am that we are able to have that conversation and that others believe just as strongly as we do in the sacredness of life and of little children. It was a sweet experience to have with someone I work with.

Cruising Altitude

Yesterday while flying to Orlando for work, I had a unique experience. I knew my day was going to busy up to getting to the airport so I decided that I would do my scripture reading on the plane. It was going to be a 4 hour flight and I had plenty of time. I have been studying the attributes of Christ found in Preach My Gospel. This course of study has actually been a year+ project. After doing in-depth research in the topical guides of each quality, I decided I need to read each set of scriptures to see if I missed anything. Hence, I am now deeply engrossed in Paul's teachings in the New Testament. As a side note, I absolutely love the New Testament! I have learned so much about becoming like Christ and the church in the early days. A powerful resource that I hadn't previously recognized. All of this helped me on yesterday's flight.

After finishing my studying of the day, which happened to be Hebrews, the gentlemen next to me asked if I was teaching a Bible study course. I replied no and that it was my own personal study. That I was focusing on the attributes of Christ in the New Testament. He asked what religion I was and I told him LDS. He had a bit of shocked look on his face and then proceeded to ask me questions about our faith. President Monson once said, "When the time for decision arrives, the time for preparation is past." I felt like this. The time for preparation had passed but I was very greatly for the timely messages at conference and for my recent study of the Bible.

The gentleman asked what I thought was the main difference between Mormonism and other Christian churches. What immediately came to mind is what Elder Holland talked about with the Trinity. I explained and was able to use example from the Bible about believing Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three separate beings. He brought up eternal marriage and polygamy. I was to explain our beliefs on both subjects. I felt we had a great discussion and I was able to use the Bible to support my beliefs.

He then asked about the Book of Mormon and explained his difficulty with it being a historical document versus a spiritual work and companion to the Bible. I asserted that it isn't a historical document. That it is a testimony of Jesus Christ and IS a companion to the Bible. He then asked if the Book of Mormon is another work don't you think other books would be found? I told him I completely agreed and believed that many books have been lost. Once again I was able to reference Paul's writing to the Corinthians and how Paul refers to a letter not included in Bible. He wasn't familiar with that and I was grateful for that knowledge.

Then he referenced Revelations and how nothing should be added to it. I countered that the Bible wasn't even a complete work until later times and talked about Tyndale and other early writers (thank you General Conference and BYUtv's recent documentary!). We then continued about developing a personal relationship with Christ and discussed charity and baptism and other personal elements. It was really a great conversation. He thanked me and I was pleased that I had the background to answer his questions.

I travel periodically for work and have decided that I need to do some scripture studying on every flight. It is a great way to begin conversations and testify of Christ. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to clear up any misunderstandings about our religion and engage in a friendly discussion about developing a personal relationship with Christ.

Living Life Backwards

I am grateful for Elder Neil L. Andersen's recent General Conference talk. In contemplating my life from high school to now, I recognize that nothing has gone as planned. More specifically, I am not married with four kids and two more still yet to come. Instead, I have two graduate degrees with a promising career ahead of me. Elder Andersen helped me see that even though my original plan has not happened, it doesn't mean that it is out of reach. Patient persistent in waiting upon the Lord (thank-you Elder Hales) and promised blessings will be fulfilled. I'm just living life backwards. :)

In having this realization, I thought back to Elder Uchtdorf's message to the Relief Society sisters. Even though I don't have children now, I still have the opportunity to influence many people for good including my nieces and nephews. I have been working on memorizing the seminary scripture mastery scriptures with my nieces and nephews. I love watching my seven-year-old nephew use the iPad app to memorize the scriptures and then pass it off with me. Obviously, I'm learning them at a faster rate, but it thrills me that we are doing it together. And that I can be that encouragement and example for them.

Another area I'm trying to be an influence for good is with music. They've already been indoctrinated to the Broadway/Musical genre but classical music is still a work in progress. Since I have always wanted to hear the 1812 Overture at the Deer Valley Music Festival (Yes. Always. At least since I was in junior high. Yes. I'm a music nerd.), I decided to take my oldest nieces to the final night of the festival. We stopped at the outlets first and I introduced Rachel to Banana Republic jeans. I don't know if her mom will ever forgive me for that one. Then we headed up to Deer Valley.
The nice thing about the outdoor venue at Deer Valley was the outdoor atmosphere helped the girls feel comfortable, we were able to bring a picnic in with us, and we were surrounded by the beautiful Utah mountains. The music selection was perfect! The girls recognized everything that was played. And the finale...Wow! Live cannons synched perfectly with the 1812 Overture. The girls grinned from ear to ear every time they cannons went off. And I absolutely loved it! Worth the wait! Afterwards, Josie said to me, "I thought it was going to be boring but I actually had fun." I turned to her, smiled, and told her never doubt me when I tell her we are going on an adventure. Good times had by all!

Here are a few pictures of us enjoying ourselves during the intermission.



So even though life hasn't gone exactly they way I planned, it's okay. The Lord has a plan for me and I know if I just continue pressing forward with faith, all will be revealed and promises will be fulfilled. How grateful I am for my testimony in the gospel of Jesus Christ and the sustaining power of personal revelation.

Strengthened by the Lord

I read this quote from Joseph Smith, The Prophet's Facebook status. (I just read that line and thought how ironic that Joseph Smith was martyred by those hoping to extinguish his voice and now that same voice is being published world-wide on a social networking site.)

"I wanted to say something to you to comfort you in your peculiar trial & present affliction. I hope God will give you strength that you may not faint. I pray God to soften the hearts of those around you to be kind to you & take the burden off your shoulders as much as possible & not afflict you. I feel for you, for I know your state & that others do not, but you must comfort yourself knowing that God is your friend in heaven & that you have one true & living friend on earth, your husband."

I may not be married but this particular quote touched my heart because I know that God is my friend and is acutely aware of me, and I have a family that has been a great source of comfort to me. They are my friends and I love them dearly.

Happy Easter!

About a month ago I was introduced to Rob Gardner's Lamb of God. My interactions consisted of one minute segments on iTunes and those brief segments flooded my soul with peace. Then a couple of weeks ago, I was able to hear this oratorio in the Tabernacle on Temple Square. Once again, I felt the undeniable testimony of the Spirit.

Saturday evening, I decided I needed to buy the soundtrack. As soon as the music started playing, a smile spread across my face as I remembered why I had to have this music. I found that the intimacy of my car brought a whole new level of understanding to the message of the words and music. I have a deep and abiding love for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I find myself stumbling to say what I want but words cannot adequately express what I feel. Know that I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. To echo the words of Job spoken long ago, I know that my Redeemer lives!




Our Hope and Deliverer promised of old,
For whom we have waited e’er long,
Hath come to redeem us from slavery’s yoke
And deliver His people back home.
Come, Israel, come and see He who shall reign,
In whom we will ever rejoice,
We hear the sound of the glorious refrain
And it echoeth back in our voice:
Hosanna! Hosanna! Thy Savior hath come, O Israel,
And blessed He’ll ever be called!
Hosanna! Hosanna! Sing praises to God,
For our Hope, our Deliv’rer, our All!
Oh, why should we wander as strangers from Thee
And turn from Thy bounteous hand?
Restore and defend us, oh, set us free,
That beside Thee we ever may stand!

He looks, and ten thousands of angels rejoice,
And myriads wait for His word;
He speaks, and eternity, filled with His voice,
Re-echoes the praise of her Lord:

Hosanna! Hosanna! Thy Savior hath come,
Our Hope, our Salvation, our All!

All Things Shall Give Thee Experience

Dear Friend,
Yesterday, I received some exciting news that I had been waiting and hoping for, and I wanted to tell you. Corda, a growing tech company, offered me a full-time position as a marketing project manager! I will be responsible for or working on their email, social media, and event marketing. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. Getting here hasn’t been easy, but the Lord has guided me every step of the way.

You may remember Corda. Back in September, I randomly interviewed for a marketing position with them. Somehow the job mistakenly was placed on the MBA job board. When I interviewed, the team wondered why I was there. I explained how I found the job. They smiled and informed me it was an entry level position, and I knew I was overqualified. I didn't worry about it because I was working at BYU and had hopes for something to work out there. As you know, nothing did.

Then, the joy of finding something in December. I felt the hand of the Lord guiding me there, but if you remember, even after the first few days, I wasn't sold. They had signed me under contract through March and something inside me wondered if I would really be there longer than that.

Things were going well, until I turned down the New York position. Then an HR department’s worst nightmare came true. Some things happened that would make a great HBS case study. And it wasn't just with me. I also realized I had sold myself short. I recognized that I didn't really believe I could hold an MBA position even though I had an MBA degree. I know. It sounds silly. But I had to come to that realization and I had to fight for me.

So began the search. I started pursuing what I really wanted: a marketing tech job. I targeted many companies including Corda. Things in September ended amicably and I had nothing to lose.

February was crazy! I commuted, I worked for Allen, I continued work with BYU, and I interviewed for jobs. Needless to say, I was exhausted (as you could tell from reading my blog).

I hadn’t heard from Corda and had given up on them. Finally, their Director of Marketing emailed me and asked me to come in for an interview. It went really well! I was surprised how well! They invited me in for a second round. Once again, the interviews went smoothly. To be honest, I felt confident they would extend an offer.

Then the trial. Almost a week went by before I heard from them again. The DoM wanted references. Another week. Finally after two weeks, I emailed him in the polite business rhetoric we were taught. The DoM called and told me that they weren’t interviewing anyone else for the position, but were being delayed in extending an offer to me because of an internal need for software engineers. More waiting. March is ending and I’m wondering what to do. Do I sign another contract with Allen? Do I hope they offer me a full-time job? Will Corda really be able to hire me?

The waiting became nerve-wracking. Then disheartening. Then discouraging. I needed some reprieve. I kept doing the things I knew should, and I knew the Lord was still there guiding and directing me. I knew the principle of equal and opposite temptation and that before great moments in life adversity, opposition, and darkness can come. I knew the scripture that if we “never should have bitter [we] could not know the sweet.” Yet, I felt lost and alone.

Gratefully, my parents’ stake conference was that weekend. Elder Nelson and Elder Leavitt, an area seventy, were there to reorganize the stake presidency. (Yes, my dad was released.) Feeling the love of an apostle for me, my family, and our whole stake was just what I needed to keep going.

I decided that no matter what happened, I would trust the Lord. He had guided me this far and had constantly told me not to worry and that everything would work out. On Wednesday, my manager called me in to offer me a new role. Just as I was settling into the idea that I would be staying at Allen, the phone rang. It was Corda.

Even as I write this story I am amazed at the miraculous events that have taken place. It has been a long road but I never would have guessed in September that this is where my job search would lead to. All things really do give us experience. I hope the things I have learned about business and leadership and myself will help me be successful in this new role. If anything, I have an added amount of confidence in my own abilities and in the Lord, and that never would have come without this. The Lord has truly blessed me and I am eternally grateful.

As always,
T-

Paradox of Choice

As I was listening to another TED talk, I realized the insights the speaker presented were far more valuable when examined with a gospel lens.

First the context. Barry Schwartz talks about the paradox of choice. In his estimation, choice has made us not freer but more paralyzed, not happier but more dissatisfied. We are bombarded with consuming questions about our choices: big things, small things, material things, and lifestyle things. In a western, industrialized, affluent society, we have an incredible freedom of choice. However, we have to decide again and again and again. Should I be doing “X”?

All of this choice has two negative effects:
1) It produces paralysis instead of liberation. With so many options to choose from, people find it very difficult to choose at all.

a. Example: For every 10 mutual funds the employer offered, the rate of participation went down 2%. Making a decision was so hard employees passed the opportunity for matching money from the employer and opted out simply by not making a choice.

2) Even if we manage to overcome paralysis and to make a choice, we end up less satisfied with the result of the choice than we would be if we had fewer options to choose from.

a. It is easy to imagine that you could have made a different choice that would have been better.
b. Opportunity Costs – When there are lots of alternatives to consider, it is easy to imagine the attractive features of the alternatives you reject that make you less satisfied with the alternative you have chosen. Opportunity costs subtract from the satisfaction from what we choose even when what we choose is terrific.
c. Escalation of expectations – With all these options available, our expectations of how good the results of our choice go up. We become less satisfied with the results even when they are good results.

His secret to happiness is low expectations. This reminds me of Yellowstone road trip I took with some good friends. Our theme? "Low expectations and a positive attitude and you won’t be disappointed." We all had a blast!

Schwartz concludes that some choice is better than no choice but more choice is not better than some choice.

I thought about this in regards to agency. In the pre-existence, we fought for the right to choose. Lucifer tried to thwart the Father’s plan and strip of us our agency. But the adversary didn’t recognize what President Monson stated so clearly, “…none would be any wiser, any stronger, any more compassionate, or any more grateful if his plan were followed.” Think about it. The right to choose is a gift from Heavenly Father and one that we fought to have in our lives.

As I reflected on this principle, I thought of a situation from the TV show The Biggest Loser. In a challenge, the contestants were competing for the right to choose their trainer. One of the contestants, who happens to be from Utah, decided she didn’t want to make the choice. She was going to lose so she wouldn’t have to decide. Then her fellow team members, who also happen to be from Utah, began telling her she had the right to choose and not to give that up. They encouraged her to finish the competition so she could make the decision for herself. As I see it, “To act and not be acted upon” (2 Nephi 2:26).

I have realized how cunning and sneaky the adversary is in our lives. He knows that if he gives us more choices than we can handle, we may abandon this precious gift. We step aside. We relent. We give up. He attacks agency not by taking away our choices but by presenting us with so many options that we become overwhelmed or unsatisfied.

In coming to this epiphany, I have started valuing my opinions, my choices, and my decisions. I used to blame not liking shopping on frugality or not having time or some other excuse. I now realize that one reason I don’t like shopping is too many options. Instead, I need to step up and not let it paralyze me. Yes, I know this is a simple example but I think it is relevant. I am trying to be more decisive and not let regret or paralysis or dissatisfaction (buyer’s remorse) tarnish the gift of agency that has been given to me.

Recently, I was helping my parents plan a trip. With all the hotel options out there, I could have let it overwhelm me. Instead, I remembered the insights about agency and began tackling the problem. I knew the parameters of cost, amenities, and location. With that in hand, I began searching. I found six great options. I utilized the Excel nerd in me and sorted out all the information until it was plain to see the benefits and drawbacks of each choice. Once again, a simple example but one that could easily overwhelm someone.

I could talk/write about this topic for pages, but I won’t. Remember, agency is a gift from the Lord. Value the opportunity to choose. Relish in it and rejoice in it.

Power of Vulnerability

A few weeks ago I heard a talk on TED.com about the power of vulnerability. The talk, which I have posted here, produced an interesting introspection within me. I’ve pondered and contemplated the scientific outcomes presented there and weighed those with how I have chosen to live my life and with the counsel I once received to allow myself to be vulnerable.

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

For those who don’t have time to listen to this twenty minute talk (be aware she does swear a couple of times), here is a recap of the points that stood out to me:

Connections give us purpose and meaning in our lives. In order for connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be really seen – to be vulnerable.

People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. Our fear that we are not worthy is what keeps us from making connections.

People who have a strong sense of belonging have these things in common:

1. Courage - Definition of Courage: Tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. These people had the courage to be imperfect.
2. Compassion to be kind to themselves first. We can’t practice compassion for others if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.
3. They saw connection as a result of authenticity. They were able to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were.
4. They fully embraced vulnerability and believed what made them vulnerable is what made them beautiful. They believed was necessary and fundamental and had a willingness to do something even when there were no guarantees

Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.

We numb vulnerability. We don’t want to the feel the hard feelings. However, we can’t selectively numb emotions.

1. When we numb the hard feelings, we numb joy, gratitude, and happiness.
2. We need to think about how and why we numb.
3. One thing we try to do is to make everything uncertain, certain.
4. Blame is described as a way to discharge pain and discomfort.
5. This doesn’t work!

What does work?

1. Let ourselves be seen. Deeply seen. Vulnerably seen.
2. Love with whole heart even when there are no guarantees.
3. Practice gratitude and joy even in moments of uncertainty.
4. Believe we are enough.

This post isn’t meant to be a recap of someone else’s research and thoughts, but I wanted you to know what stood out to me in hopes that you would receive your own insights about yourself and to give you the foundation for the most profound insight I found. Do know that I have abbreviated these thoughts because the full extent is far too personal to share in such an informal setting.

As I mentioned, many years ago I was given the counsel to allow myself to be vulnerable. I have reflected on that moment many times and tried to find ways to implement that in my life. It truly has been a journey of change. I know the feelings of uncertainty but have chosen to plow forward in spite of not knowing. I know the value of having pain, fear, uncertainty, etc. permeating every fiber of my soul because I learned that in feeling these hard emotions I could feel joy and happiness and love.

All of this leads me to the most powerful insight I have received about vulnerability. Brene Brown missed it. It is being vulnerable spiritually. What I mean by this is opening ourselves to the Lord. To submit to His will. To experience opposition in all things AND men are that they might have joy. To feel His forgiveness. To allow the Atonement to completely and totally envelop us. And yes I do believe this is a choice.

Think about the scriptures and the very foundation of our beliefs. Every story, even the very first in the pre-existence, centered on complete reliance in the Lord and His plan. We had no guarantees when we chose the Lord’s way. Nephi had no guarantees when he said, “I will go and do.” Joseph Smith had no guarantees when he was confined in Liberty Jail. But all believed this: We are spiritual sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father. His way was the only way. Being obedient and submitting to ALL things, even the hard emotions and difficult times, brings eternal and everlasting peace, joy, and happiness.

Are You Watching?

In 1989, we witnessed two very historical events. The first was the Tiananmen Square protests. Though the outcome of these peaceful student protests ended in a violent massacre with the number of victims still unknown, the event stuck in my mind as being significant in our world history.
Twenty plus years later, though China is still technically a Communist state, we see capitalism infiltrating at a rapid rate. Because of a rare chain of events which saw Great Britain handing Hong Kong over to China in 1997, we as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints saw history. A temple, which was only dedicated the year before, now existed in a Communist country. Were you watching?

The second was the fall of the Berlin Wall. My teachers pointed out the significance of this event telling us that the world was beginning to change and we were eye witnesses. I remember feeling very impressed that their words were true and began paying closer attention to world events.
The following year an exchange student from the former East Germany came to school in my home town. Her story fascinated me. It was if overnight the political scene changed. The wall literally came down and freedoms she had never known came flooding her way. Now Germany is considered one of the strongest economic European powers. All of this happened in a matter of twenty years. Were you watching?

In 1990, the year following the fall of the Berlin Wall, many Eastern Bloc nations began protesting against Soviet and/or Communist power. Much like Germany, the terror that had gripped many countries for decades fell within moments. Some declared Soviet power illegal and announced independence. In Russia a failed coup sent the future of the Soviet Union into an unknown realm with Mikhail Gorbachev trying to hold together fragments of a once powerful nation. I remember Gorbachev's announcement on Christmas Day in 1991 and my dad commenting that he never thought he would see the breakup and demise of the Soviet Union. Once again history was happening all around us. And last year, a temple was dedicated in Kiev, Ukraine, a country held under the former Soviet Union. Were you watching?

All of this leads me to the past month. Students, workers, the people of Middle Eastern nations have been crowding the streets and public squares. They seek freedom from years of oppression. Some analysts fear the results will end similarly to the 1970s Iranian government overthrow but I disagree with them. We live in a differnt time with a different wind blowing. They have experienced what I like to call intellectual democracy: Freedom of Speech. Freedom of Press. Freedom of Assembly. All via the Internet. That taste of democracy and freedom will be the difference.
Egypt's protests for Mubarak's resignation came out of the blue to many. But change in these Middle Eastern countries could only come when the timing was right, when their voices could not be stopped. Through text messaging, facebook, cell phones, and other means of mass communication, the people were able to organize. Their voices were heard. And just like the fall of the Berlin wall, Egypt's successful protests have created a domino affect across two continents. Though some have not been as peaceful or seeing the same results as Egypt, major protests have occurred in Algeria, Bahrain, Iran, Jordan, Libya, Morocco, Tunisia, and Yemen with minor protests in Iraq, Kuwait, Mauritania, Oman, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Sudan and Syria. I don't know whether the end result will be positive or negative for the United States, but I do know that whatever happens, it will have a tremendous impact on us. I wonder if we are seeing the beginnings of a new era where the way is being prepared for the gospel to be sent to those in these Middle Eastern countries. I sense a change and have a strong belief that worldly events occur to fulfill the plan and promises of the Lord. The question now is this: Are you watching?

Feelings of Christmas

One thing I enjoy about Christmas time is the lights. As a child, I loved sitting by the tree, listening to Christmas music, and staring at the lights. My brother and I would always volunteer to deliver presents to people so we could see the lights around town. Unbeknown to my mom, our outings always took longer than usual because we would seek out the streets with the best light displays.

My favorite place to view lights has always been Temple Square especially with freshly fallen snow. The lights of the temple mixed with the colored displays always brings a peace and comfort to my heart. My favorite memories at Temple Square have always included people I love. Celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with those family and friends holds a special place in my heart. I hope all of you are enjoying this Christmas season. Merry Christmas!

Doubt Not, Fear Not

Right now I should be preparing for an interview with a company that actually excites me. As much as I should be focusing my energy there or even finishing a final project for my other job, my mind continues pondering over thoughts I had while working out this morning. Time to data dump if only to help my mind more fully understand the swirling thoughts.

One of the greatest gifts we receive from our Heavenly Father is personal revelation. Through the gift of the Holy Ghost and the power of the atonement, the Lord is able to direct our lives in a uniquely personal way. Insights, impressions, and instruction come when we earnestly seek the will of the Lord.

In my lifetime, I have had such experiences. Some so sacred I have either never discussed them in detail or never mentioned them at all. Most often they came while experiencing what Elder Holland referred to as our own Liberty Jails. Recently, as I was seeking the Lord's will for me, I once again experienced the sweet divine gift of personal revelation. The topic nor the message is what my mind has been mulling over the past few hours. What stood out to me was what happened afterward.

Opposition comes in all forms. Though I knew exactly what I felt, advice from the world caused me to doubt. I began to cast off the insights, impressions, and instruction. I called myself crazy. I lost confidence. I completely crumbled. What happened? I let others' stories predict my life for me. I let the world's perspective question the knowledge I received from a loving Heavenly Father. I let the adversary confuse me to the point I was ready to forgo all that had been revealed to me.

Thankfully, the Lord heard my prayers and cast the darkness out of my life. As the light flooded my soul, I began to more fully understand the principle of trusting in the Lord. Where doubt and fear, which are the seeds of darkness, are present trust, faith, and hope cannot exist. Helaman 5:41 explains just this. "You must repent, and cry unto the voice, even until you shall have faith in Christ...and when ye shall do this, the cloud of darkness shall be removed from overshadowing you." And from D&C 6:36: "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." Asking others for advice or seeking out what seems "normal" destroys the very gift of personal revelation. What the Lord speaks to us is far more valuable than anything that we may try to glean from the perspective of the world.

What are my conclusions from all this rambling? First, the Lord desires to impart His wisdom and will for us daily. Second, opposition comes in all forms. Third, doubt and fear will cause us to question that which we have received and believed and lived for. Fourth, having trust, faith, and hope, even if I feel a bit crazy, brings far greater joy and happiness in my life then listening to the wisdom of the world. Fifth, my brother-in-law was right.

Time to grade papers and prepare for an interview!

Gratitude Day 28

1- Relaxing. Yesterday was busy with all the traveling between the wedding and reception so it was nice to relax today. Regroup. Unwind. Rest. Very much needed.

2- Coming home to a clean apartment. I arrived home around midnight last night. Knowing my apartment was clean when I came home was a nice feeling. Yes I know I spent the "blizzard" day cleaning and already knew that everything was in order, but I was still grateful to come home to an organized, vacuumed, and scrubbed down apartment.

3- Afternoon church. Usually I don't like afternoon church; however, as I said above, I needed a relaxing day. So, today I am grateful I was able to sleep in without worrying about any meetings or rushing off to church, especially with the few inches of snow on the ground.

More Pictures of the Wedding

I didn't take many pictures at the wedding because my three brother-in-laws and my older brother were doing a great job. I know many of you who follow my blog also know my sister so I thought I would upload a couple of pictures from the wedding. These two came from Lucille's blog.

Gratitude Day 27

1- Eternal Marriage. Today my sister and her fiance were married in the temple for all eternity. The sealing powers we have on this earth create a bright future of hope which promises that if we are true and faithful, we can live with our spouse, children, and families for all eternity. What an amazing blessing from the Lord!

2- Relationships with others. At the reception this evening, I was reminded of how important kindness towards others is in building friendships with everyone. My great-aunt and my dad's cousin both made comments about how much they value the efforts I give in visiting with them. Most people do not know their extended family beyond first cousins and aunts and uncles, but I have had the unique chance to get to know these relatives because I grew up in the same town as them. Having these extended, extended relatives in my life has been a great blessing to me.

3- Angelic ministers. With today being such a busy day and my mind being elsewhere most of the time, I am grateful the Lord is able to speak to others to help me. My aunt related an experience that happened to her during the ceremony that related to me. Her impression lifted my spirits and renewed my hope.